Where the Ducks Go in the Winter
Critical thinking is an elusive concept, a black hole the size of common sense. I have a habit I can’t shake of asking people to explain to me what they mean by certain words or phrases, which for me are black holes, and it makes people nervous. I get it. I do. I’m not being a phony. I’ve heard things like “Am I being graded on this?” or “You don’t know what critical thinking is? Where did you get your doctorate?”
Of course, I know what critical thinking is (I think). I really do. That’s not the point. I don’t know what you know—or think you know. Over time, I’ve asked countless people to help me understand what they mean when they use the term. I call it “close listening.” I’ve done it with the words reading, writing, text, comprehension, literacy—after teaching the secondary reading methods course for single subject credential candidates ad infinitum, I’ve decided the only way to communicate is to lay all the cards out on the table.
I make a motion that the term “critical thinking” be retired from service. Motion on the table. Do I hear a second? I second. Could you repeat the motion? “The term critical thinking, hopelessly mired in political ideology, is hereby banished from the field of education.”
To Chatbox.ai: You are a Greek philosopher. You are an expert in the original thinking about critical thinking. Respond critically to the text I input. [I input this text plus a few paragraphs more. Then I copy and paste echos of my prompt to the bot and the bot’s response below.]
Chatbox.ai “As a Greek philosopher, I must approach this text with the same rigor we applied in the ancient agora. The author's struggle with the term "critical thinking" reminds me of Socrates' persistent questioning of seemingly self-evident concepts.
First, let us examine the paradox presented: The author claims to know what critical thinking is, yet consistently asks others to define it. This is reminiscent of Socratic irony - the feigned ignorance that reveals the limitations of others' understanding. The practice of "close listening" mirrors our dialectical method, where we seek to strip away assumptions and reach the essence of concepts.
The author's motion to retire the term "critical thinking" is particularly intriguing. In our philosophical traditions, we understood that language shapes thought. When a term becomes, as Plato might say, a mere shadow on the cave wall rather than the truth it represents, perhaps it deserves scrutiny. However, I must question: Is the problem with the term itself, or with our relationship to it?
The reference to the AAC&U rubric's focus on problem definition is philosophically sound. It echoes Aristotle's approach - before we can investigate anything, we must first understand what it is we're investigating. Yet, the author's comparison of life itself to a problem raises a deeper question: Are we perhaps trying to standardize something that is inherently fluid and contextual?
*Strokes beard contemplatively*
The real issue may not be the term's retirement but its restoration to its philosophical roots - the systematic examination of assumptions, the careful analysis of evidence, and the recognition of our own limitations in understanding. As we said in Athens, "The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms." Would you care to engage in a dialogue about what we truly mean when we speak of "critical thinking"?
In the 2000s AAC&U, the American Association of Colleges and Universities, put together a group of professors from across the U.S. to write a rubric for critical thinking during the undergraduate years. What does it look like on day one? What does it look like on graduation day? For the most part, it’s the best I’ve seen for its purpose; significantly, it was not written to score all critical thinking everywhere for all time.
I like that the AAC&U rubric centers defining the problem as the starting point. I really do. If you want to know the truth, the biggest problem of all is that we don’ take the time to define our problems. Everybody knows that. This beginning point for critical thinking doesn’t mean writing or mathematics or geology. Problems are everywhere, in case you didn’t know; it’s likely that the elasticity of the term stems from the fact that life itself is a problem with a solution as elusive as consciousness.
But enough about me. What about you? Yesterday, we talked with Huck Finn about a problem we’re facing with artificial intelligence ruining the human brain. Going to the origo, the core of the problem, however, it isn’t AI at all. It’s human relationships. Nobody wants this insane new machine to hurt human beings. That’s the problem. Hurting human beings. Oh, and then you got all these scavengers trying to make money off it. But that’s a different problem.
For a second character imitation to accompany Huck and Jim on the raft, imitation being the highest form of tribute, I had to pick between two literary behemoths, Holden Caulfield, a child battered by an obsession with phoniness who exists in the figurative world Catcher in the Rye, and Quentin Compson, Holden’s age and intellectual equal, a deeply introspective and neurotic figure in Sound and the Fury, burdened by his family's decline and obsessed with Southern ideals of honor and purity. His tragic arc culminates in his suicide by drowning in the Charles River on June 2, 1910. Someone put up a memorial plaque at the spot where Quentin jumped.
I chose Holden. I’ve known him longer and better.
If you want to know the truth, I think it’s phony, all of it. It depresses the hell out of me when they say this crazy machine is intelligent, and it probably depresses you, just to let you know we aren’t all that different.
If they think AI is intelligent, I’ve got a bridge I want to sell them. A phony bridge made of gumdrops and turds.
I’m not crazy about the writing assignments teachers give out like they’re supposed to help, I’m a kid, I’m not supposed to be crazy about grunt work, but it’s not as if the teachers don’t care. They do.
The teachers are all hot and bothered about the death of critical thinking. You’d think they don’t know critical thinking hasn’t ever been alive for the riff raffle. It kills me how they carry on about it. It really does.
Like critical thinking was this thing that everybody was doing all the time before AI showed up. What a laugh.
If you really want to know the truth, most people wouldn't know critical thinking if it bit them in the ass.
Teachers have this phony picture in their heads. This is what I really think is going on. They look out over the classroom, and they see all these goddamn halos. Like there actually was a time when students sat around having these deep philosophical discussions, quoting Plato and whatnot. Makes me puke.
The real truth nobody wants to admit is that education's been about memorizing garbage and regurgitating it for tests since forever. That's education for you. A big fat phony show.
Then ChatGPT comes along and they howl. Like it's the end of civilization or something. The end of the goddamn world or something.
God, that kind of talk depresses me. It really does. All these teachers pretending there was all this big critical thinking activity before the machines showed up. What a bunch of hypocrites.
Say whatever you want about teachers. Grades. That’s all they care about. As if everyone wants their GPA etched into their goddamn gravestone.
That's what college has always been about. That’s why I’m not going. I don’t care if my parents put me away. They tell you it’s about thinking. I’m not kidding. They really do. Getting that degree so you can get that job so you can buy that Cadillac. I don’t even like Cadillacs. That's college for you. Phony as a snowball in August.
So the teachers act all bent out of shape when students want to use AI instead of numbing their brains doing busywork. Boo hoo. I’m not kidding.
I'm not saying it's right, but I'm not saying it’s wrong. I’ve been kicked out of or quit from three so-called elite prep schools my parents spent big dollars on, and I’m not proud of it, but I don’t really care either.
That's the thing about people. They're all mixed up inside, even the smart ones. They crack me up sometimes but then they make me depressed as hell. Maybe there’s another planet somewhere more hospitable to human life. I hope so.
Maybe that’s where the ducks go when the pond in the park freezes over in the winter.
Go Holden. I love this.