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praxis22's avatar

I grew up in a village on the Chesterfield canal in the UK, it had two bridges, one big one small, and under the big one were the lock gates. These were manually operated. Everyone on the water has a key, and by a key I mean a handle that locks onto two pins, that you have to wind to open the gates. under the water, then you you have to manually push the gates open. During the summer if we were by the water, we would often take the key from the people on the boat and do it for them as teenagers. there was always a test of speed and strength to see who could get their gate open first.

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Tammy H Brown's avatar

“What does it mean when a canal becomes obsolete before it's even finished?”

I saw this as a metaphor for reminding me who I am at 58 and understanding yet another transition in life. My career peaked earlier than some and what was built in the past is unrecognized now as innovative or foundational which is a concept that lives in the same problems that sparked the innovations. I’m feeling unseen and irrelevant while also holding the treasure of knowledge and the history of a profession and its community. I don’t want to self promote to overcome this. I don’t want to start over. Good bones, good purpose, good for something and many someone’s; I am in a place where I take the time to breath and teach while utilizing my expertise. As a person with specialized training and experience I’m already feeling obsolete before wanting to let it all pass. I have so much to still contribute but not in a way that is recognizable, fashionable for social media and the tides of current convention. I was reminded by a close friend confidant and colleague who was there along side me that that career although important and worthy in as much as it was not as obvious and mainstream as most, not only does not define me but is not my only or greatest achievement or on a list of last accomplishments. The present moments that bring joy purpose service to others are the focus in between the moments of life I’ve balanced it all out for. I’ve raised and engaged and actively enjoy my two amazing children and nieces and nephews, a marriage we fought for, learned and pursued myself, my past traumas and taking my family forward and beyond all of those places. I enjoy relationships across the globe and being a part of the world even when it’s hard or broken. Thank you for this story!

It is in the quiet passing moments of waiting and even redundancy of patterns of simple movements that collect and matter.

I have faith the water remembers!

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